Mediation offers a way to prevent parental battles

A Generic Photo of a couple visiting a divorce lawyer. See PA Feature WELLBEING Wellbeing Column. Picture credit should read: PA Photo/thinkstockphotos. WARNING: This picture must only be used to accompany PA Feature WELLBEING Wellbeing Column. ENGSNL00320120113153233

A Generic Photo of a couple visiting a divorce lawyer. See PA Feature WELLBEING Wellbeing Column. Picture credit should read: PA Photo/thinkstockphotos. WARNING: This picture must only be used to accompany PA Feature WELLBEING Wellbeing Column. ENGSNL00320120113153233

0
Have your say

Like all professions and most walks of life law is changing and this is generally for the better.

One area is in the need for mediation and it is therefore with some pride I announce that I’ve recently qualified as a family mediator.

Disagreements don’t have to be fearsome battles and, as we all testify, people who do become embroiled in such disputes generally come out of the other end worse for the experience.

Here at Bowsers, like many modern law firms, we are doing our utmost to find harmonious outcomes in all disputes. Of course, this is not always possible – but we find it very sad when couples in the midst of an acrimonious break-up inadvertently affect the children.

No parent wants to do this and even for experienced lawyers it is difficult to watch, and often unnecessary – but, sadly, so many people get consumed by anger as marriages disintegrate, and this is one of the reasons that so many partings are far more difficult than they need be.

Mediation is almost always a sensible approach before anger gets hold of one or both parties and leaves so many people with emotional scars, which last a lifetime.

Professional trained mediators, which good law firms provide, can nearly always stop strained relations getting worse, helping with parenting plans and switching the focus from blame to constructive help for youngsters caught in the middle of such unpleasantries.

Mediators, though, need the adults to come with an open mind, with a willingness to listen to their ex-partner.

As a mediator I ask that parents be of a mindset where they are willing to find a peaceful solution, which focuses on providing the very best for their children.

This involves appreciating how children’s needs differ greatly depending on age, and also accepts that the other parent may have strengths, which are useful.

It requires maturity, a flexible and business-like attitude to parenting and a positive approach that you and your ex can sort everything out.

For those caught up in the midst of things we, as experts in this field, ask you to try to take a step back.

Generally, so many partings get far nastier than they need to due to not looking for a solution and not accepting a third party may be able to help. The great thing with mediation is that there are so many winners. The children, often at a very delicate age, get to concentrate on their futures, whilst the parents, often released from all the finger pointing, are able to get on with their lives easier.

Really, in most cases there can be a solution.