'My Harry and Meghan fatigue'

In a new monthly column – Baffling Britain – reporter Eve Tawfick discusses the Royal Family...

At the start of the year Prince Harry’s autobiography ‘Spare’ flew off the shelves faster than loo roll during 2020.

A tome hungrily mined for royal titbits by journalists, an un-putdownable hate read for team Windsor and for the rest of us – provided a rare and deeply personal insight into how far one can go with Elizabeth Arden cream.

Since the emancipation of Harry and Meghan from the gilded bosom of the Royal Family, the world has watched with fascination as the shroud of secrecy surrounding the inner world of royalty was once again lifted, yet unlike Diana’s candid confessions sitting across from Bashir in 1995, the lucrative fruits of brand Sussex lack the raw authenticity of Lady Spencer, as she spoke of bulimia, paranoia and the press.

In what feels like a carefully orchestrated PR exercise based on ‘their truth’, we hear the droll account of a couple who went for a secret drink at a private members’ club, after Harry revealed he was struck dumb by his beau sporting a Snapchat filter.

It can’t be denied that reading ‘Spare’ offers a deep reflection of the media’s treatment of public figures, albeit from a mono-focal view, and the detrimental effect it has on mental health.

Aside from citing that tabloid journalists are merely greedy succubae hellbent on sucking on his prodigal teat, we learn that Harry would have made a great tabloid journalist himself if he were not a prince – as he details the venturesome toils of having a frostbitten penis, or the time he stuffed himself into the boot of a car.

No doubt, the paparazzi and morally bankrupt organisations that hacked phones and relentlessly stalked public figures have a lot to answer for – Prince Harry has rung the alarm on internal corruption, brought to light the pain caused by his mother’s death, and how it has shaped his worldview.

Upon reading it, it felt like scanning the diary of someone who is still healing, still angry. He has every right to be, the immortalised image of the crash site in Pont de l’Alma tunnel will never leave him – or the nation.

As he describes ‘rolling joints’ and ‘speaking to psychics’, you feel sorry for Harry’s search for catharsis.

However, there is an undercurrent of unrest, avoidance. Despite racking up clicks, much like the pandemic there is a sense of fatigue in the carousel of Sussex stories.

A highlight reel of ‘Nott Cott’, endless pontification, a U-turn on the explosive accusation of racism seen on the Oprah interview – it’s starting to feel a little like the daily death toll during lockdown.

Meghan, in the six-part documentary series the world couldn’t wait to see, rests back on a Hermes couch throw and recounts an extended version of their bombshell Oprah interview, the documentary rolled on and the most revelational part was that the cream Hermes blanket would set you back an eye-watering £1,260.

‘Spare’ detailing the Prince’s military exploits, and a rehash of the stars aligning over an Instagram snap, makes Prince William out to be a rabid, necklace breaking fiend – a headline worthy golden egg fed right into the hands of the detestable gutter press.

One would guess it’s okay to publish highly personal details of family matters, a rather contradicting move from a man who deplores negative media exposure.

Endless articles pour out of the churnalism factories in London, regurgitating seemingly calumnious stories about every aspect of their lives. Not a day goes by where there isn’t speculation on the couple, a new rumour that they will be ‘barred’ from the King’s coronation. There’s likely a heft of column inches on the extravagant Hermes throw alone.

As we think of the Cost of Living Crisis, the war in Ukraine, the death and destruction on the streets of Iran, there - shoved in our faces like the next unwanted gas bill - is Harry and Meghan.

Personally, I think they’ve had their moment of ‘truth’ and there’s nothing more to say. I’ve seen so many pictures of Meghan in the infamous ‘poo emoji’ hat I could probably re-create it from memory with spaghetti.

‘Don’t read it darling boy!’ The now King Charles would implore to his son, and while Harry didn’t take his father’s advice, I’m thinking I might just do that.